Background: Amid a night of revelry, the suspects allegedly harassed two men in wigs, dresses and high heels who they thought to be transvestites. The intended victims, however, turned out to be cage fighters enjoying a night of “fancy dress,” and they quickly taught their assailants a lesson. Watch Here Drinker-targets-cage-fighter-in-dress.html

Kevin Mazur/AEG via Getty Images

So, you’re Michael Jackson, and, if the death-hoax theorists are correct,  you’re alive and presumably pretty impressed by the stunt you pulled in June.

Let’s skip the obvious questions (How’d you do it? Why’d you do it? What’d you think of the Dancing With the Stars tribute?), and head straight to the biggie:

Are you going to your own movie premiere?

This Is It, in case you’ve been living—or hiding—under a rock, gets the star treatment today in Los Angeles, en route to opening in theaters worldwide later tonight.

So, now that we’ve brought you up to speed, what’s it going to be? Can you resist the spotlight? The adoring crowds? The complimentary popcorn?

Oddly enough, Jackson was unavailable for comment. So, we talked to a certified faker of death. And he said Jackson should go for it. In high style.

“He should attend his own movie premiere made up as an Elvis Presley, along with 50 other Elvis imitators, and a contest: Where’s Michael?” said Alan Abel.

Abel told us this via email. Or so we presume. Abel, you see, is a noted prankster. In 1980, he “died” his way into the New York Times obituary section. A day later, he held a press conference. Not bad for a man who supposedly succumbed to a heart attack.

It is a high compliment then that Abel thinks Jackson had the wherewithal—not to mention “the balls,” as he put it—to pull off something similar, if grander.

“After all, he wasn’t afraid to dangle his baby from a balcony,” Abel said of the pop star. “By comparison, a hoax to die would be child’s play.”

Jeffrey Robinson probably wouldn’t agree. Robinson is an author and expert on pseudocide, or faked death.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but ‘La La Land’ refers to Hollywood, don’t you think so? Hehehe
Besides the catchy beat, this song has a good moral about valuing yourself. You have to avoid negative tends that may hurt yourself; such as crazy dieting, alcohol, cigarette, ah you name it.
I confess that sometimes I DO worry too much about my appearances and what people think about me. I did diet, I had alcohol, I spent much money for nothing but wasteful things. I was wrong.
It was something that I did just because I don’t want to be a dork. The tendencies to be exist sometimes pushes you to the depths of misery. This song makes me realize, maybe if I’m a Hollywood celebrity, I’ll be those who are alcoholics, drug-users, DUIs… rrrrrrrrrrrrr

Guess I got to change myself to a better me